Despite appearances, I haven’t decided to stop blogging, or to blog less often.
It’s just sort of … happened.
About once a week I give myself a taking-to along the lines of ’you have been NEGLECTING the blog and it must STOP and you must POST POST POST. Starting NOW.’
But do you know what? Putting aside that fact that I ignore people who shout, even myself, I know that kind of thing won’t work. Not because I believe any of that ‘to write the mood must be right and the stars must be right’ stuff – writing is a job that you sit down and do, although some days you may be better at doing it than others – but because of the reason that a blog works.
When I speak about writing and blogging, and people ask me what the most important thing about a blog is (I think they often want me to say SEO), I say: authenticity. I say something like: web or no web, people can smell when there’s a lack of truth coming off a piece of writing, and because your blog is likely to be about your own experience, any lack of authenticity is going to turn people right off.
So if I start writing a blog because I ought to, then people will get that, and go find a blogger who’s showing up in more ways than I am showing up.
And I think that’s why I’ve been blogging less.
It’s not that I don’t want to, or can’t be bothered to. It’s more that this blog came from a real, visceral need to find words for what was happening to me: five-and-a-bit years ago, when Bah! began, I couldn’t not show up here and write whenever I could. This blog began when my world shifted and shook. Now my world is different, more stable if not the same as it was, and I’m not quite sure how to blog in these post-remission days, when I am becoming more quiet and private than my dance with cancer made me, for a while.
So, I’m going to take a break, and have a think about what this website is here to do, and the best ways for the blog to go forward, or maybe the best place for the Bah! archive to live. I’ll still be around to support the bejesus out of anyone dancing with cancer. I’ll still be grateful and glad to be well. And while I mull things over I’ll still be tweeting my tea-drinking adventures. (I’ll also be finding someone to make me a shiny new website, but that’s on the back brain for now.)
So for now, Merry Christmas, and Bah! to cancer, and don’t be getting those two mixed up or Father Christmas will put you on the naughty list.
(When I stay down to write this I was planning some sort of ‘wheee, I’m busy busy busy, I’ll be writing a proper post soon’ number. Which just makes the point about authenticity, I think.