Guest Blogger: Suzy

The following may come as a bit of a shock to the media. Brace yourselves, this is pretty controversial stuff. Ready? Here it is: not all women are fertile.

Not all women have ovaries or even a womb. Apparently they’re still women. I think I am (a woman that is) but I no longer have any reproductive organs and so I’ve already lost a big part of my feminine identity. I will never experience what it’s like to give birth. I’m not alone.

I’ve read countless accounts of women who were struck down with ovarian cancer and the very small percentage of women who were lucky enough to survive, for the most part already had at least one child. Of course it’s heartbreaking not to be able to have any more if that’s what you wish, but life is crueller for those who’ll never have any. In 2009, just when I was reaching the age (the lower end of my 30s) when my husband and I were making plans for a small family (we only wanted one) then I found out that my swelling stomach had absolutely nothing to do with a test-proof pregnancy I would have been delighted to have. When my lethargic doctor finally sent me for a scan, I looked like I was 9 months pregnant.

I’ve since become more aware that in magazines and newspapers, there’s an understanding that women who are childless are largely responsible for the fact. There’s an assumption that they’ve chosen childlessness as a life path. They’ve opted for a ‘career’ over a family for example. Not necessarily so. I’m not quite sure why (and it’s not just unfortunate cancer survivors such as myself, there are numerous medical conditions where women are infertile) but the assumption that there aren’t thousands upon thousands of silently grieving women out there who haven’t opted for anything at all over family life, is frankly irresponsible in 2010.

Ovarian cancer is brutal (most people die) and thanks in part to largely unaware doctors, it’s often discovered far too late (stage 3 or later). In addition to invasive surgery there’s normally chemotherapy and that’s gruelling in itself (hair loss, tiredness, eczema, to name but three side effects). If we (the involuntary childless) were shown more courtesy whenever we idly flicked through a magazine, even in this small way, I think life may just be easier and less isolating.

Before I go I’d just like to take this opportunity to raise awareness for Ovarian Cancer. The following symptoms are all signs that every woman should be aware of:

• unexplained weight gain

• swelling of your abdomen

• pain during sex

• changes in bowel or bladder habits – constipation, excess wind, diarrhoea or needing to pass urine more often.

I hope this helps and thanks.

Suzy

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Suzy contributes to www.tvcream.co.uk and she’s on Twitter here.