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Apologies if this is too much information, but the my nose has never quite recovered from chemotherapy and the Drug Trial Of Doom. The chemo drugs made my sinuses hurt and the inside of my nose feel really sore and achey all the time. For as long as I was taking Lapatinib as part of the ALLTO trial, my nose bled. Not blood-pouring-out, just a little bit of bleeding all the time, so whenever I blew my nose – which was often, and hurt – the main output (as it were) was blood.
It felt as though the chemo had taken the top layer of my nasal workings off, somehow. You know when you graze your elbow, and it hurts every time you bend or flex your arm? The inside of my nose is like that. As you are reading this, just roll your lips inward, so that they disappear into your mouth and your nose stretches down towards your chin. If I did that I’d be cursing as the inside of my nose shrieked…. (I dread to think what what happen if I was called upon to impersonate a rabbit, or do a lot of whistling. Although that’s unlikely as I’m no good at either.)
So… my nose has been giving me annoyment, as we say in the family. (A phrase coined by 3 year old Ned about his 1 year old sister, as in “Mummy, Mummy, Joy is breaking my train track and giving me annoyment.” It’s a supremely useful expression. Do help yourself.) I’ve been really aware of it these last couple of days.
I thought about it as I was in the shower at 6.30am, before I went to work.
It ached as I lugged my bag of training gear around the rush hour tube.
It was sore as I stood up all day training.
It niggled as I ran up and down the stairs between floors at the venue.
I was aware of it while I chatted on the phone to Scarlet, and we talked about shopping and Evie and holidays.
Sitting up late reading, I wondered whether it would ever fully recover.
And walking home from the tube station, I thought about how there was a time when the state of the inside of my nose was the least of my worries. Now it’s pretty much the total of them. And I can worry about them while I’m going about my life like the normal human being I feel more like every day.
Tomorrow, we go to my parents’ in Guyzance. Last time I was there, at Easter, I was in chemotherapy-toothache-exhaustion hell, struggling to get through a day without tears and finding it easier to tell you what didn’t hurt than list what did. (My eyes were OK, I seem to recall. And my earlobes. Probably my kidneys. After that, I’m hard pressed to remember what bits of me were doing well.)
This time, the inside of my nose hurts.
I’ll take that. Wouldn’t you?
Have a nice visit with your parents. I'm so sorry about your nose. It sounds painful and I'm sure it's hard to breathe. Ugggh.
It was great to hear about you running up and downstairs at the venue. It was not so long ago that you had to stop three times for breath going up those stairs.
Also, I guess the sinus tissues are like the other fast replacing tissues zapped by chemo. However, it is time they got used to the fact that chemo is history.
That chemo sure is a pain in the you know what …
my nose still isn't right. mostly it feels dry, but itchy and irritated too. oh. you didn't want to hear that, did you?
For years I have suffered with varying degrees of Rhinitus and the symptoms are exactly as you describe. I thought I had got everything under control unti chemo.
Can't you see your GP and get something to ease the inflamation. I use a nasal spray once a day and although things arent as they should be at least the swelling is stopped and the associated pain.
You have my complete sympathy. Unless you have suffered that pain, you just dont know xxxxx