Talking to Stevie (the reflexologist) on Friday, I was saying how the longer this dance goes on, the more difficult I find visualisation – or rather, the less effective it feels. Stevie suggested that I need to keep changing my images, something that had never really occurred to me, but makes perfect sense: as my experience is always changing, the visualisations that work are likely to change too. “Maybe think of something like an animal coming to protect you.” she said.
Later that day, I was knitting while Ned played something on the Wii. I glanced up just as two characters were fighting – while flying dragons. Idly I thought, “Perhaps I could do with a dragon.”
Well, that was all the encouragement my unconscious needed. Ever since, there’s been a dragon somewhere near.
She (I think it’s a she; I’m not sure how to sex a dragon) sits quietly on the bedpost while I’m meditating. When my sinuses are aching she perches on the top of my head and extends her wings over my face until I feel better. Pottering happily around with the family yesterday, I was aware of her wheeling in the skies overhead, distant but in sight. I think she can probably grow, so if I need a bit of help at my hospital meetings she will be able to fill the oncologist’s office and breathe a bit of fire to help me make my point. Right now, she’s preening on the window seat because I’m blogging about her.
Maybe this makes sense to you. Maybe it doesn’t. I’m not sure how much sense it makes to me, to be honest, but clearly there’s some part of my mind giving me an image that works and a new way to support myself, and that’s enough for me. I am learning to accept help, and if that includes accepting help from an imaginary dragon, so be it!