Driving somewhere the other day, I heard a discussion on the radio about sleeplessness. The interviewer asked the expert whether sleeping in certain positions could help with getting too hot/too cold/snoring etc. The expert said, well, yes, in theory, but actually your subconscious (or maybe unconscious, I was doing quite a tight reverse at the time and not paying full attention) manages your sleeping position so it’s not quite that simple.

I’ve been mulling this over. I have always, for as long as I can remember, slept on my left side. I often lie on my back for a while and then, when I’m ready to go to sleep, I roll over: it’s almost as though that roll has become a signal to my body to turn out the lights for the night.

I still sleep on my side. But now, I sleep with my arms tightly crossed across my chest. At some point, my subconscious started protecting my breasts – maybe after surgery – and has never stopped. I always, always wake up with my arms still crossed. On mornings-after-nights-before hospital appointments and mammograms, my shoulders are tight and taut because, I assume, I’ve been holding tighter, protecting more.

So, one night sometime in the future, I will wake up and find that my arms are doing some different arm thing, and that will mean that my subconscious has quietly decided that these beleaguered breasts of mine are safe again.

Until then, it’s quite a comfy way to sleep.