Yesterday morning, while Alan slept and before the birthdayness (of which more tomorrow) began, I gave myself a little gift.

I logged on to Twitter and, after checking with the hive mind that what I was about to do wouldn’t vanish me/eat my followers/drop me into some horrible Twitter hinterland, I made two changes.

I changed my avatar from the Bah! bubble to my Official Picture Of Myself (ie the picture of me in which I look the least mad and have the fewest chins):

and I changed my username from @bahtocancer to

@under_blue_sky

which is where you’ll now find me. This is the first of a series of small steps you’ll see me take over the coming weeks and months. It’s not about leaving cancer behind, exactly: it’s about seeking a better, more appropriate, identity. I’m no longer spending as much of my time saying Bah!, because I’m thriving: this year has seen a return to effortlessness in the everyday that has been reflected in my life, my writing, and this blog.

Cancer is much less of a feature of my life these days, and it’s time to reflect that. Part of what I am trying to do here at Bah! is to show that life after cancer is not only possible but might even be better than the life before it. The changes that I’m planning (technology willing) will acknowledge that cancer is a part of the dance of my life, but give it appropriate space (ie less space than it has here now).

So Stephanie will be stepping out from behind Bah!. The blog will continue, just as it is, but the site will be changing to reflect more of what I am and more of what I do. (And I’m adding some new stuff to that. Writers, I think you’ll like it. More anon.)

I’ll keep you informed of everything, of course, and there may well be a few cries for help, too, especially when it comes to Wordpress-wrangling and trying to get 1and1 web hosting to do what I want it to do. (Why has no-one yet invented a button for ‘oh, come on, surely it’s blindingly obvious what I want here, why won’t you PLEASE JUST DO IT’?)

I’d love to know what you think.