‘Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.’ said Pema Chodron. I know this quote well because it’s one of the notes above my desk.
There are lots of notes above my desk, as you can see, and every time I sit down to work, I take a look and trust my eye to find the one I need today. Pema Chodron has been a regular lately.
Because I am having to do an awful lot of waiting at the moment. Over the last fortnight, I’ve waited for mammogram results (still not in), dental appointment (still not here) and phone calls from my agent. (Which I got. More on that soon.) I’ve waited for pain to stop (it hasn’t, but it’s got bearable), I’ve waited for bedtime, I’ve waited for sleep, I’ve waited for what seems like a not-unreasonable hour to get up after hours of looking at the ceiling. I’m waiting for cheques to clear and work to be confirmed. I’m waiting for my next book to be ready to start going on to the page. (I ask it, very nicely, every morning if we should make a start. It says, very sweetly, that it thinks it needs another day or two. I feel like a besotted Victorian gentleman trying to coax his shy bride into letting him over the threshold of her bedroom.)
I feel as though there is something I should be learning from this waiting, and perhaps when I’ve learned it, life will move on. But I suspect that what I am supposed to be learning here is that some things have their time, some things take their time, and sometimes there is nothing I can do but wait.
While I’ve been waiting I’ve dusted off the sewing machine and made little quilts to protect the sofa from the cat and the dog.
I’m fairly sure that when Pema Chodron said that ‘Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know’ she wasn’t thinking that the obvious application of her words would be, ‘Waiting doesn’t go away until it has taught Stephanie to make a halfway decent job of a quilt for a dog to lie on.’ But you never know.
There’s another quote above my desk that’s been a theme of late. Winston Churchill: ‘KBO’. ‘Keep Buggering On’. Which I will.
Oh, and I’m making another quilt.