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Imagine that you’ve been having problems with a tooth since 24 November. Imagine that, because your mouth is still painful and vulnerable and tender, an extraction under local anaesthetic proves impossible. Imagine that sedation isn’t an option, because the last time you had it you fought like the devil while you were under and ended up having to have a general anaesthetic anyway.
Imagine that your GP agrees to refer you to the hospital for an extraction under general anaesthetic. Imagine that toothache starts to really get in the way, and you find ways to control the pain, but it keeps niggling away at you, until it starts to interfere with your treatment for cancer.
Imagine that the pain eases – maybe the tooth has died – and then the appointment arrives, for 19th January. Imagine going along, and taking your knitting, and waiting the required 45 minutes after your appointment time to be seen. Imagine going through your medical history in great detail, and having x-rays, and then waiting some more.
Imagine being called in and told that the extraction will require only local anaesthetic.
Imagine explaining all of the above, again. Imagine reminding the person you are with that your gums are so painful that an electric toothbrush is impossible to use, and some days the most you can manage to clean your teeth is toothpaste on your finger.
Imagine that the dentist – who is very sweet – looks a bit stumped and goes to get someone else to talk to you. Imagine that he explains that the criteria for general anaesthetic are either having more than one tooth removed or mental or physical disability. Imagine him telling you what the procedure will be: cutting and peeling back the gum, drilling the tooth in half, removing each half. Imagine going though all of the above, again, and explaining, again, that it’s getting the local anaesthetic in that’s the problem.
Imagine that the slightly more senior dentist goes off to get the most senior dentist available to talk to you. Imagine that she comes in and all of the above happens once more. Imagine everyone continues to miss the point you are trying to make. Imagine that promises of total numbness and swift action are made. Imagine reassurances about how good the dentists are, and people saying things like, ‘won’t you let us try?’
Imagine that, finally, you say you’ll think about it, because you need to get out of there and consider your options and not be bounced into something that you don’t want to do for very sound reasons, even though you feel you are being treated a bit like a child who won’t eat their peas.
Imagine that the most senior dentist available puts her head on one side (“it’s like eating a little green football! Yummy! How many footballs can you eat?”), smiles, and touches you on the arm.
Imagine that she says, “Be brave.”
Would you:
(a) burst into tears?
(b) say, “Excuse me. That water slide was very high indeed. I know all about brave, thank you very much.”?
(c) take a deep breath, smile, and leave?
(d) shout, “Brave? BRAVE? I’ve been cut open, injected, cannulated, given drugs that I thought were going to kill me, lost my hair, had two robot arms, been so achey I couldn’t move and so tired I couldn’t stand, had radiotherapy beams fired at me every day for a month, faced up to my own mortality, put everyone I know and love through the mill, posted pictures of my breasts on the internet, and managed toothache for more than six sodding weeks until I got an appointment here. Don’t you talk to me about brave, lady,” turn on your heel and walk out?
I did (c). But I’m quite tempted to go back and do (d) tomorrow.
Oh my lord, that is horrendous. I would have done D. I am so, so angry for you
Wow that is awful. I somehow had thought you might've done D. I would've done it long before I had to explain myself over and over, lol. I am not a patient person. Hope you do go back and tell them what you think!
You are in a very very very bad movie. Someone needs to tell these people they've been given the wrong script.
I voted for D too. Go for it tomorrow!
I'm sorry to say that I giggled over your horror story! lol. Hang tough! You are one brave cookie.
Right. Where are these dentists? Me and my boys will go round and sort them out.
Bunch of losers! How dare they? It's like a midwife who hasn't had a baby suggesting you have a paracetamol during labour
I hope you go back and do [d] today – in a measured, patient, but forceful way. Not everyone could get away with it, but I'm pretty sure you can do that with charm.
Essie
Oh. I have to say that I'm a great fan of saying what I have to say. I always try to be nice about it, but I always feel better when I say what I have to say. I would start with "Be BRAVE?!!!!!!! I'm going to forgive you for your unfortunate choice of words. There is no way you could have known that I've been being brave for quite some time now. Let me assure you that bravery is not the issue here." And then stare at her fiercely.
愛，拆開來是心和受兩個字。用心去接受對方的一切，用心去愛對方的所有。.........................
Am I allowed to use very very very bad language on your blog? Am I allowed to scream? Am I allowed to burst into tears on your behalf? No, then I'll just slope off and do it privately.
Oh. My. God.
(e) verbal abuse and an awful lot of slapping. and kicking. and maybe punching…